Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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