Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
