im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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