so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
