A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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