i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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