So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
