please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
