OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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