I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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