I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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