You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
