don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
