oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
