i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
