Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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