I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
