HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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