So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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