3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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