I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
