i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
