ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
