and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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