thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You can't motorboat a personality
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
