Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
