i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
