Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's blow job season.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
