White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
