Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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