all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
