I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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