I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
