I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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