Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
