I don't think brook has ever known best
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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