She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
