Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
