We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
