I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
