Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
