I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
