sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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