We're facebook friends in real life
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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