I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
