oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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