When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We need to rekindle our bromance
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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