I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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