Bisexual people are plain selfish.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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