I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
