Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I know her cup size but not her name....
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