Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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