His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
