At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
