They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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