When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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