Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
