My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
