i don't like sucking hair
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Randomize
